I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
