worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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