I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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