I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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