He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
No subtext here. People are naked.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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