I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Randomize
