4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
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