life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize