my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
