Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
