I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
