So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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