Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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