For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
