We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
