lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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