found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
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