Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize