I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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