he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
