If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
