Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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