Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
