i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
There's always time for handjobs
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
