i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
