Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Girls should come with a carfax report
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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