wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
