The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
