I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
