The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
