he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
found the other keg... it's in the tree
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
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