holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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