I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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