Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
