Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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