I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
