Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
