You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
