im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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