1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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