Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
