the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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