Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize
