Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize