Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
you made out with another girl for some wings
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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