i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
