I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Randomize
