It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
