It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
