butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I think I died a long time ago.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
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