Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
