But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
