Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
