The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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